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Why do vampires like Halloween so much?
Ah ha ha! You have vandered into my viendish lair! Valk into a vorld beyond your vildest … OK look, can I just be straight with you here? Vampires don't really talk like that, with the dramatics and the silly crescendos and the harsh Eastern European V sound all over the place. Frankly, we think the whole thing is ridiculous, but we do it in public because, to be honest with you, it attracts tourists. We're not the Count from Sesame Street, and, I'm just speaking for myself here, I rock at math. We're just people. Who drink blood. And fly, sometimes. But we talk normal.
How much did you guys love "Twilight"?
Is that the senior-prom movie with the teenagers in love? Vampires have two words for that movie: BO. RING. Listen, none of us are like the mopey girl who apparently can't smile, or the dude with the hair that looks like he just stuck his tongue into a live outlet. We're vampires. We're not the Cure. I don't mean to sound like a jerk, but I can turn into a bat. Can you turn into a bat? I didn't think so. We're sort of awesome.
Could stop looking at my neck like that?
Hmmm ... what? What was the question OH MY DEAR SWEET DELILAH, wow. Jeez, you totally busted me right there, didn't you! Wow ... this is awkward. Ha ha! Vampires get really embarrassed by that sort of thing. I mean, I'm just here for this interview with you, your magazine and your fat, delicious neck ... so tasty ... so full of arteries ... mercy, I'm sorry. What are you gonna do, eh?
Why do vampires like Halloween so much?
Ah ha ha! You have vandered into my viendish lair! Valk into a vorld beyond your vildest … OK look, can I just be straight with you here? Vampires don't really talk like that, with the dramatics and the silly crescendos and the harsh Eastern European V sound all over the place. Frankly, we think the whole thing is ridiculous, but we do it in public because, to be honest with you, it attracts tourists. We're not the Count from Sesame Street, and, I'm just speaking for myself here, I rock at math. We're just people. Who drink blood. And fly, sometimes. But we talk normal.
How much did you guys love "Twilight"?
Is that the senior-prom movie with the teenagers in love? Vampires have two words for that movie: BO. RING. Listen, none of us are like the mopey girl who apparently can't smile, or the dude with the hair that looks like he just stuck his tongue into a live outlet. We're vampires. We're not the Cure. I don't mean to sound like a jerk, but I can turn into a bat. Can you turn into a bat? I didn't think so. We're sort of awesome.
Could stop looking at my neck like that?
Hmmm ... what? What was the question OH MY DEAR SWEET DELILAH, wow. Jeez, you totally busted me right there, didn't you! Wow ... this is awkward. Ha ha! Vampires get really embarrassed by that sort of thing. I mean, I'm just here for this interview with you, your magazine and your fat, delicious neck ... so tasty ... so full of arteries ... mercy, I'm sorry. What are you gonna do, eh?
