Every Chicago politician knows you don’t bite the hand that feeds you.


 Every Chicago politician knows you don’t bite the hand that feeds you.
 
The problem is how to appear to slap around a client who has stepped so far out of line that he makes you appear to be responsible for the disaster du jour.
 
This balancing act takes years of training, organizing and the ability to bury long-term friends and family under busses when they become liabilities. Reverend Wright just gave a “Hallelujah!” to that in a letter to black institutions confirming Obama’s shove down under. It must have been pretty crowded under that Greyhound with Farrakhan, Coakley, Specter, Corzine, Lincoln, Grandma and now the entire state of Arizona between the axles.
 
Never point a finger at those who butter your bread
 
According to The Center for Responsive Politics, British Petroleum execs and employees gave $71,000 to presidential candidate Barack Obama, their highest contribution to any candidate during the 2008 cycle.
 
Since the BP well explosion, the president and his administration have granted at least 27 separate environmental study waivers to potential drillers, including BP. These gifts came after President Obama vowed a “…relentless response to stop the leak” and prevent more damage to the gulf. The President assailed the “…ridiculous spectacle” of oil executives blaming each other. He denounced a “…cozy relationship” the oil companies had with the federal government.
 
Imagine that! Barack Obama blaming someone else for blaming someone else. Where have I heard that kind of thing before?
 
Obama’s EPA publicly ignored the disaster for its first ten days. Guess they thought the President was referring to another golf match, not the match that could light up the entire gulf.
 
For the record, the administration has taken umbrage at any connection to waivers and BP donation(s). However, as of today I’m unaware that any of the 71 large has been returned.
 
When your world is full of potholes start a cement company
 
Well at least the President has come up with the beginnings of a good solution. He’s appointed yet another CYA (cover your arse) commission to pass the buck upon.
 
The only thing transparent about this president is his corruption.
 
This isn’t just a right-wing attack on Obama. The Socialists smell oil in the water and are racing in for the kill. They want to devour big oil and the evil profit they take away from their off-shore drilling rigs at the expense of making us more dependent on terrorist benefitting oil.
 
Left-wing bloggers are comparing Obama’s gulf leak to Bush’s Katrina.
 
I’m waiting for Farrakhan to claim the righties came and bombed the rig, unplugging the well, just to destroy the presidency of his personal “selection,” Barack Hussein Obama. Or he could claim that Limbaugh was behind it because he was allergic to the “colorful” fish spotted in the Gulf.
 
Heck, even Mr. Sweetness and Light--a leg-tingled Chris Matthews--wants the oil executives executed!
 
I grew up on a rattlesnake ranch. I was an only child—eventually.
 
Back on the good ole’ South Side of Chicago, they had a way of taking care of friends who got too arrogant and/or cozy, lest they blow the cover of the bosses. They’d fit them with large cement booties and send them to the bottom of the Chicago River or Lake Michigan.
 
Hey, if used right this could solve everyone’s problems, both scientific and rat extermination. They could even do a study:
 
How many cement booted oil executives does it take to stop a major sea oil leak?
 
If they’re one or two short, they can always try to recruit Glenn Beck or Sean Hannity or other daily acidic irritants.
 
Finally, a warning to Ex-Governor Blagojevich: Be wary of any cement truck following you around--in or out of prison.

Dave Weinbaum is a regular contributor of one-liners and commentaries to regional and national publications and Web sites, including the Reader's Digest, National Enquirer, and Forbes and is a regular pundit for the www.jewishworldreview.com Readers can reach Dave at dwquote@prodigy.net or www.daveweinbaum.com